Complacent, who me?

With every deliberate change in habit or lifestyle, there are times that the change itself grates on me, like an emery board on a fingernail.  Even though I know in my mind, believe in my heart and understand with every fiber of my being that the change is pleasing to God, I find the old rebellion creeping into my thoughts.

Psalm 30:9......These are rebellious people, deceitful children, children unwilling to listen to the Lord's instruction.

I'm afraid that's me, over and over.  I seemingly learn a "lesson" - even one that I've sought out myself, gone to the Lord to learn - and the moment things don't go my way, I'm ready to bail and return to my old ways.

These past few days I've been on a weight plateau.  Okay, before you say "Blah, blah, blah...", hear me out.  Learning to crave God more than food, drink and "stuff" has truly become a way of life for me.  No argument.  But it's much easier to  expound that truth when the weight is coming off quickly and easily.  That's what happened to me the first eight weeks - I simply ate the things that seemed healthiest, allowed hunger to be a part of my day, faithfully studied God's Word and sought Him out more and more, and the weight fell off my body.  But now I'm ten weeks into my redirected life, and the weight loss is slowing down to a crawl, or it seems so at least.

This disappointing fact led me today to search out the words "complacent" and "comfortable" in the Scriptures.  I did not find those words, per se, but I did find related verses that God thought I needed to take a look at.  Not surprising, He led me in a different direction from complacent - toward "longing":

Psalm 30:21
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Psalm 37:23
The Lord delights in the way of the man whose steps he has made firm...

Deuteronomy 6:14
Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you...

Deuteronomy 28:65
Among those nations you will find no repose, no resting place for the sole of your foot.  There the Lord will give you an anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, and a despairing heart.

Psalm 112:10
The wicked man will see and be vexed, he will gnash his teeth and waste away; the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

A weight plateau is nothing new, nor is it the end of the world.  It is what it IS.  It is a "resting place" as I continue my journey toward a healthier Me.  I see from His Word that He fully expects me to continue on, reaching for His strong hand and endeavoring to catch up to His quick strides. God is certainly using this little detour to remind me that, once again, He is in control.  If I've learned anything these past ten weeks, it's that God truly is in control. 

My willpower?  Weaker than watery Kool Aid.  God led me to crave Him at this point in my life to demonstrate that my willpower is practically non-existent.  That's why I need Him.

I sing the mighty power of God, That made the mountains rise;
That spread the flowing seas abroad, And built the lofty skies.
I sing the wisdom that ordained The sun to rule the day;
The moon shines full at His command, And all the stars obey.

I sing the goodness of the Lord, That filled the earth with food;
He formed the creatures with His word, And then pronounced them good.
Lord, how Thy wonders are displayed, Where'er I turn my eye;
If I survey the ground I tread, Or gaze upon the sky.

(Isaac Watts, 1715)

So that you do not think me a whiner. I must say in my defense that my yo-yo weight the past 50+ years has been a struggle that I would not wish on my worst enemy.  What I LONG for, what I DESIRE, what I SEEK is stability.  I have no aspirations of reaching the Wii Fit 119.5 pounds recommended weight.  What I do aspire to is a reasonable weight so that I may better function as a human being.  What I pray for is a heart that is more willing to serve God everyday, not just on certain designated days.  What I strive for is to hear Him rewarding me with encouraging words, confirmation that He walks the road along with me.

Today, even though I am human and still have human disappointments and struggles, I sing the mighty power of God.