After reading that author Lysa TerKeurst at one point actually licked a paper plate clean of pizza tidbits, I decided that nothing is sacred in this journey of learning to crave God more than food and stuff. If she can share that story, I should be able to share likewise with those who take time to read these ramblings of my heart.
Ok, before Hershey's changed their wrappings, there was a white waxy paper underneath the trademark brown Hershey Bar outer wrap. I loved that white wrapper - you see I have been known to chew the wrapping after consuming the candy. Yep. There it is. I never ate it, I just chewed it - didn't want to miss out on any tiny speck of chocolate.
In addition, I have tucked away (not hidden, though!) candy, snack crackers, pretzels, chips, cookies (need I continue?) in my desk drawer at work. There is still a stash in residence! And on Monday I will empty it out into the trash! Do you know that I have not once been tempted these past few weeks to even OPEN that drawer? And until I sat down to write this entry, I had actually forgotten it was there.
There have been other food attachments I could confess, but no need... I think you get the point here. I was addicted to food - and not just food, but the types of foods that do nothing beneficial for God's temple, AKA my earthly body.
The DANGER reflected in the title today is that I will fall back into old habits. I've lost and regained more than an entire person in my lifetime! And I could say "been there, done that, got the t-shirt"..... Passing a milestone as I did today used to be cause for CELEBRATION. And what is celebrating without food? In fact this very week, a well-meaning co-worker who is young, lovely and thin, said "Would you like a celebratory pumpkin donut? I'll buy..." In past weak moments of excitement and joyful celebration, I have said "yes" to such an offer. But this time I declined. I am learning, albeit slowly, that FOOD is not the answer. I have always loved parties, celebrations, dinners, carry-ins, etc., especially at work where it's such a pick-me-up from the regular work day. But, again, I am LEARNING to celebrate with others while abstaining from those foods that will most assuredly cause me to stumble.
Let me remind you that I am not doing this of my own power. It is all about GOD. With His help I have been successful in making healthier choices --- I think I now own stock in Freshlike frozen mixed vegetables (without potatoes), Seckle pears, Michigan cottage cheese, Aunt Millie's low fat/sugar free potato bread, plain unsalted almonds, Ocean Spray Craisins, Romaine lettuce, Wish Bone Sweet & Spicy Reduced Calorie French Dressing and Tyson boneless/skinless chicken thighs. Sigh. HOWEVER, the DANGER sign is always in front of me, challenging me at every turn, taunting me at every milestone. The DANGER can be as simple as a celebratory donut or perhaps melted butter on my popcorn or splurging on KFC Original Recipe.
I've been SUCCESSFUL in the past losing weight. The DANGER has always been in relaxing my defenses, feeling proud of what I've done to the point of lying to myself that I really CAN eat like other people and maintain a healthy weight. With this body and this metabolism, I cannot do that. I am learning to accept that and adjust my eating habits accordingly. No more feeling sorry for myself when other THINNER people don't gain weight from eating 2 chili cheese dogs, large French fries and a 32 oz Coke!
After only 8 weeks of following God's direction, reading and re-reading the Scriptures and Made to Crave, I am humbled to be 20.4 pounds lighter than when I began this journey. People have asked what my goal weight is... and truly I do not have one. My goal is to please God by bowing to Him in submission. Several times a day I ask for grace and a healthier spiritual life as well as a healthier body. He knows far better than I what is best for this body, and He is guiding my taste buds through all the pitfalls and roadblocks.
Another DANGER is announcing to the world on Facebook what my progress looks like! But in the spirit of being completely transparent, I am doing that. This makes me accountable to all my Facebook friends! So keep the comments coming! I value your input!
From Made to Crave:
"God, I recognize I am made for more than the vicious cycle of being ruled by food. I need to eat to live, not live to eat. So, I keep asking for Your wisdom to know what to eat and Your indwelling power to walk away from things that are not beneficial for me."
There is Joy in the Journey!
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